5 (healthier) ways to cope with stress
In this day and age, it’s almost impossible to avoid stress entirely, and according to research, it’s better to learn how to cope with it than push it away entirely.
STEP ONE: Acknowledge & Accept
There are stressors and there are STRESSORS in our lives. Working out at the gym voluntarily is a lower-case stressor. Navigating end of life arrangements for a beloved family member who’s in failing health is an uppercase stressor.
There are circumstances beyond our control, that’s a fact, but sometimes we need to sit down and acknowledge them before we can accept and deal with them.
ACTION: Take 5 minutes to write down everything beyond your ability to control that causes stress, then take 5 minutes to assess whether or not you’ve accepted each of them.
STEP TWO: Gratitude
Two perspectives arise when people deal with stress, the most common response is, “Why me?”, but the other perspective says, “It could always be worse!” Two thought processes, drastically different mindsets.
The first perspective easily spirals, focusing only on every horrible event that’s ever happened to them. The second views the current circumstance as a springboard, a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Latest scientific findings indicate that quality of life improves when gratitude is present - whether the stressor is perceived (e.g. anxiety), or a reality.
ACTION: Spend 2 minutes every day telling someone (or writing down) everything you can think of that you are grateful for that day.
STEP THREE: Get Moving
While there are times when complete rest is valid and necessary, when stress hits and the body begins to feel tense and overwhelmed, the best method we’ve found is to simply get moving.
Clean out that closet that’s been cluttered for months. Call up a friend and walk on a treadmill in your basement before bed. Head to the gym and put your frustrations on a shelf for an hour. Weed the garden until you feel tired and accomplished.
It doesn’t need to be intense, long, or doing something you don’t enjoy (i.e. if you hate running, do something else! Movement is mandatory, but the method is up to you). Simply getting up and helping your circulatory system pump from heart to extremities will help your mind settle so it can return to a settled state.
ACTION: Aim for 20 minutes of movement per day if you’re in a seriously sedentary state. Once you find something you enjoy, you’ll naturally desire to increase the time you spend performing that activity.
STEP FOUR: Set a Timer
The worst habit we humans have when it comes to coping with stress is overanalyzing and obsessing. Whether it’s a conversation at work that made you upset, or a seemingly unreconcilable family situation that’s starting to feel hopeless, neither can be solved by thinking about it 24/7 for days on end.
What starts out as an understandable pondering of the event can easily turn into a massive recall that elevates the heart rate, consumes the mind, and morphs into a remembrance that could be made worse every time you think back on the memory.
While it is good to process what lead up to a frustration, or to think constructively towards a creative solution to an issue, continued recall will eventually become a burden that is not so easily discarded.
ACTION: If you’re talking to a friend about a problem you’re experiencing, tell them to help you stick to a time limit during your conversation. If you’re alone, set a timer for yourself. Once that alarm goes off, it’s time to think better thoughts!
STEP FIVE: Community
Those of us who’ve lived alone for any stretch of time will agree - community is invaluable, especially when pushing through difficult times. If you’re finding it hard to move forward, to feel supported and not reach a point of discouragement daily; it’s time to find your tribe.
If you’re a gym-goer, find friends who can workout with you regularly. Maybe you’re a homeschool Mom whose siblings or parents have a lot on their plates, too - find a local co-op or Mom’s group, or maybe an older woman who has walked the same path before and can give you sage advice. If you’re really struggling and simply can’t bring yourself to talk about your challenges with close friends or family, it’s time to seek counseling (we recommend looking for a Christian counselor who is licensed and qualified to help you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually).
ACTION: If you’ve exhausted your inner circle or simply feel that your support system is lacking, look proactively for others who can lift you up in your time of need. Think hopefully - you’re not a burden, you have value, this current season may be difficult but you have the opportunity to grow through it if you are determined to come out the other side stronger!